Just for a laugh...at least I think it's funny!

Plastic Surgery

"This is always a bad idea. Need proof? Just check out Joan Rivers. Once you've stopped vomitting, check out Melanie Griffith, then Meg Ryan, then Michael Douglas, the Susan Lucci, then John Travolta, then most of the Desperate Housewives, then the poster child for plastic surgery, Jocelyn Wildenstein. (Yes, it's worth another Google; I'll wait again.)

"Tragically, too many women, and an increasing number of men, seem to think that having the small things made bigger and the big things made smaller is the key to looking and feeling young. Invariably, these people want us to pretend that they look mysteriously younger and more fabulous, when in actuality they look like spooky freaks who got tired of only feeling insecure on the inside and decided to show some of it on the outside as well. I make fun of these people, and I encourage you to do the same."

The Goo-Goo Years (Doody Duty)

"Infants mean poop, tears, and poop. Constantly. Poop, tears, and poop. When the baby stops crying, it's only because it's getting ready to poop. Then it starts crying again. About the poop."

Parenting: the Case for Abstinence

"I believe that prospective parents should have to apply for a baby license--a license to procreate, if you will--before any child-rearing is allowed...."

"With me in charge, the procreation license would become mandatory. And as much as I hate government bureaucracy, this is so important to me that I believe it warrants a new behemoth federal agency to oversee it all, the U.S. Department of Parenting. They can even create it overnight, without any planning or foresight, just as they did with the Department of Homeland Security. After all, this is an emergency.

"The Department of Parenting would actually give you a taste of parenting before you even conceive the baby. Here's how it works: A DOP agent would come by, wake you up at two in the morning, and keep you awake until four. Then he'd let you sleep for an hour before waking you again and keeping you up until it's too late to go back to sleep. Then he'd yell all morning, take a nap, and--just as you were starting to doze off--he'd wake you up, start shrieking again, and not tell you why.

"This would go on for, oh, say about three months. If you're still interested in parenting after that, you move on to another agent who will ask you some simple questions to determine how fit you are to be a parent.

"Assuming the interview goes well, you're free to book a room at the Ramada for you and your significant other. Then, nine months later, your dream of not getting a good night's sleep for the next 18 years will finally come true."

Taken from An Inconvenient Book by Glenn Beck. Everyone should read this book!